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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,710

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Going viral on Telegram:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Going viral on Telegram:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Seen just now on Slack:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Just landed via Threads:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about how responsibilities can spoil a perfect day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, yet another day where adulting strikes again! 🤦‍♂️ Who invited responsibilities to the party anyway? Time to play hide and seek with obligations and hopefully find some fun along the way! 🎉 #ResponsibilitiesRuiningMyVibe"

adulthood, complaint, day, fine, humor, irony, life, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

60 shares on X this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

17 shares on Discord this month:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfollowers, take me with you!

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I love it when God gives me money.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Trending via TikTok:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Live now on Slack:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Freshly posted on X:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Making waves on Discord:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Going viral on X:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

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