Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Going viral on YouTube:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Just landed via TikTok:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're just an obstacle on their path to world domination 😂👶💪

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

0

2 months ago

actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt
Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

0

2 months ago

bathroom, danger, dangerous, date, gone, humor, joke, relationship, restaurant, toilet, toilets, vanish
Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

0

2 months ago

adult, adulting, appreciate, being, choices, headspace, humor, i, job, just, life, life choices, opportunity, position, responsibility, right, stepping, stepping down, thinking
As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

0

2 weeks ago

dating, Funny, girlfriend, having, humor, irony, relationship, sounds, woman, women
Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

0

2 months ago

agree, communication, conflict, disagree, every, humor, just, meeting, negotiation, start, workplace
If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

0

2 months ago

back, conflict, head, humor, playful, reaction, revenge, shoe, step, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

28 shares on Facebook this month:

“Do you have any hobbies?” Lately, I’ve been really into panicking.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

13 shares on Discord this month:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Trending via Telegram:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Live now on YouTube:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Just shared via Telegram:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Live now on Discord:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Breaking via Twitch:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨