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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has shared:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as β€œelderly.”

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a β€œturn off”

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has viewed:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has copied:

β€˜Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has copied:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has copied:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has shared:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,233

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on WeChat:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Spotted on TikTok:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just landed via X:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Spotted on X:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Shared recently on Discord:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Just landed via YouTube:

It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

Just shared via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

Shared recently on Reddit:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.
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When you're just an obstacle on their path to world domination πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ΆπŸ’ͺ

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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,233

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

9 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has copied:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has viewed:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has shared:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has copied:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Breaking via Facebook:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Just shared via Twitch:

The title of my autobiography is going to be β€˜You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Trending via Messenger:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

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