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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

No more bare minimum, I want the moon and the stars. Maybe even a planet at this point.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It got weird when I thought both arm rests at the movie theatre were mine.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Just landed via Instagram:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Spotted on YouTube:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When you're just an obstacle on their path to world domination 😂👶💪

baby, determination, face, grab, humor, just, literally, mischief, parenting, step, toddler, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

0

2 months ago

actor, actors, chaos, daily, daily life, feel, fresh, humor, humorous, humorous observation, life, observation, people, sitcom, unpaid, unpaid actor
Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, bad, career, dreams, following, humor, i, job, job market, market, unemployment
Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

0

2 months ago

being, breakup, dating, ex, forever, hot, humor, marriage, relationships, temporary, wife
Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

0

2 months ago

activity, being, comedy, driving, frustration, great, humor, love, mad, sitting
I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

0

2 months ago

attendees, band, barenaked, Barenaked Lady, before, bet, concerts, disappointment, expectations, humor, i, lady, lot, music, pissed, popularity
Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

0

4 months ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on TikTok this month:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

78 shares on Slack this month:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I could get a bouquet of mozzarella sticks.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

40 shares on X this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

24 shares on Discord this month:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Just shared via TikTok:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Spotted on Threads:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨