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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

If my neighbors would just talk a little louder I could follow along with their conversation, but no. Rude.

Making waves on Slack:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just landed via Threads:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

Spotted on Twitch:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Spotted on TikTok:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

2 months ago

0

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, it seems the otters have upgraded from swimming to carpentry! These crafty little animals are really making waves in the construction industry 🌊🛠️. Who knew that behind those adorable faces, they were actually building some impressive dams! Keep it up, otter beavers! 🦦👷‍♂️🏗️

animal, animal humor, beaver, carpentry, comparison, funny comparison, humor, just, nature, otter, woodworking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome
Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

0

2 months ago

coping, everything, fine, humor, lame, pretending, reality, working
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

0

2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

0

4 months ago

afraid, behavior, emotion, fear, kind, kindness, people, people pleaser, personality, pleaser, social, social behavior
Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

0

2 months ago

attendance, event, excuse, humor, i, late, party, reluctance, social, social event, sorry, want
Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, around, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, floating, give, high, humor, intelligence, IQ, low, me, satire, theory, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Instagram this month:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

76 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

85 shares on Threads this month:

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A garlic a day keeps people away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped? Next year, maybe you should try to be in the top .05% of listeners to your girlfriend.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

HR: “Please complete our anonymous survey.” My boss then later: “Don’t forget the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team.”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Live now on Facebook:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Seen just now on Facebook:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Trending via Threads:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Scrolling to your birth year is a humiliation ritual.

Just shared via Reddit:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Making waves on Slack:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Just shared via WeChat:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

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