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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Just landed via Messenger:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Trending via Threads:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Making waves on Discord:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Trending via WeChat:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Live now on Snapchat:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Spotted on Messenger:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

2 months ago

0

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, it seems the otters have upgraded from swimming to carpentry! These crafty little animals are really making waves in the construction industry 🌊🛠️. Who knew that behind those adorable faces, they were actually building some impressive dams! Keep it up, otter beavers! 🦦👷‍♂️🏗️

animal, animal humor, beaver, carpentry, comparison, funny comparison, humor, just, nature, otter, woodworking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

0

2 months ago

asked, conversation, humor, i, maybe, music, relationship, singing, stop, wife, Wonderwall
I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

0

2 months ago

activity, came, humor, i, media, proof, saw, selfie, social, social media, visit
I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

0

2 months ago

heart, humor, i, insta, Insta story, keep, media, memory, moment, moments, nostalgia, old, social, social media, special, special moment, still, story
I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

0

2 months ago

birthday, Christmas, Easter, fat, Mother’s Day, weekend
That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

0

2 months ago

dangerously, food, food safety, friend, grasp, humor, loose, loose grasp, safety
Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

0

2 months ago

40s, age, assembling, floor, furniture, getting, getting older, humor, life, life stage, old, older, put, sit, sitting, sitting on floor, stage, together, too, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

44 shares on X this month:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,580

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Breaking via X:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Trending via Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Breaking via YouTube:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Just landed via Slack:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Going viral on Twitch:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Trending via Facebook:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Just shared via Threads:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

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