27 funny funny comparison quotes - Wordgag

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

May 26, 2026

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

May 26, 2026

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

May 25, 2026

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

May 25, 2026

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

May 24, 2026

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

May 24, 2026

Beavers are also just otters that have learned carpentry.

May 23, 2026

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

May 23, 2026

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

May 21, 2026

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

May 21, 2026

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

May 20, 2026

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

May 20, 2026

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

May 19, 2026

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

May 19, 2026

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

May 19, 2026

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

May 19, 2026

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

May 19, 2026

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Apr 1, 2026

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Apr 1, 2026

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Mar 31, 2026

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Mar 31, 2026

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Mar 31, 2026

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Mar 31, 2026

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Mar 30, 2026

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Mar 30, 2026

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Mar 30, 2026

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Mar 30, 2026