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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Banks: You are broke, so we are going to charge you for being broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Breaking via Twitch:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Just landed via YouTube:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Just shared via Telegram:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Just landed via Messenger:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Just shared via WeChat:

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Making waves on Twitch:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

17 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I guess you're turning tables and taking names 🎧😎 #DJDictator

crowd, dj, humor, i, impose, masses, music, only, preference, preferences, upon

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

2 months ago

coworker, expectancy, humor, life, life expectancy, office, office life, purpose, stress, ten, workplace, workplace humor, workplace stress
Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

2 months ago

acting, acting weird, circumstances, day, due, humor, humorist, i, quirky, today, unexpected, unforeseen, unforeseen circumstances, weird
USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

4 months ago

1, 2, step, think, tracking
If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

2 months ago

creativity, fall, flirtation, humor, love, me, poetry, regret, relationship, romance
No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

2 months ago

better, comfort, comfort food, food, form, going, happiness, humor, joy, life, matter, motivation, positivity, potato
Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

2 months ago

better, chocolate, comparison, dove, dove chocolate, fact, food, fun, fun fact, humor, soap, taste

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

99 shares on X this month:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

37 shares on Discord this month:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Spotted on Messenger:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Trending via YouTube:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Spotted on Telegram:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

Spotted on Threads:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Just shared via Twitch:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Just shared via Threads:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨