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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Spotted on TikTok:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Breaking via Messenger:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Spotted on Threads:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Shared recently on Twitch:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Playful quote highlighting British humor about Tuesday with a cheeky tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, what a splendid day it is for chewsing! 🇬🇧🍴 Just another typical Chewsday in the land of tea and crumpets! 😂 #BritishHumor"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

55 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

31 shares on Discord this month:

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

17 shares on X this month:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

84 shares on X this month:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Spotted on Twitch:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Seen just now on Slack:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Spotted on TikTok:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Spotted on Messenger:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

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