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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,305

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Trending via Pinterest:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Making waves on Telegram:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Live now on Threads:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Trending via Messenger:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

2 weeks ago

Playful quote about wishing to relive the weekend because I wasn't ready the first time.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sure, let's hit the rewind button and give the weekend another go! Maybe this time we'll remember to set multiple alarms and pack extra snacks for unexpected adventures. Here's to a weekend do-over filled with all the fun and none of the Monday blues!"

humor, i, ready, request, start, time, weekend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

96 shares on Slack this month:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you think I’m funny, you should hear the voices in my head.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,699

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

Just landed via TikTok:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Breaking via WeChat:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Spreading quickly via X:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Freshly posted on X:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

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