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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Life update: it’s getting worse.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

Trending via Facebook:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

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ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.
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Commentary:
Ah, the legendary ChatGPT – the ultimate dinner guest escape plan generator! 🍽️🚪 Don't worry, with ChatGPT by your side, you'll never have to endure awkward small talk or suffer through another round of your in-laws' "famous" casserole ever again! Just sit back, relax, and let the excuses flow like fine wine. 🍷✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

61 shares on Threads this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Earth is hard.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

People who live in glass houses should be put on a watchlist.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I woke up alive again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun to not be able to open that drawer.

Shared recently on Threads:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Live now on Reddit:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Trending via Pinterest:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Just shared via Twitch:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Shared recently on Threads:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Making waves on Telegram:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

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