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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Going viral on X:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

Shared recently on Slack:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Spotted on WeChat:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Just landed via X:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Going bananas on WeChat:

If you sit down to play a game of chess and your opponent punches you in the face, you’re not going to prevail by getting better at chess.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to clean my camera roll and discovering I took 42 photos of my cat's existential crisis 😹📸✌️

camera, camera roll, chore, cleaning, clutter, digital, digital clutter, ever, procrastination, roll

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

0

2 months ago

bro, e.g., front, grammar, h, humor, i.e., just, mistake, mix, mix-up
I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, desire, dreams, humor, i, irony, life, true, wish
We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

0

2 months ago

around, clumsiness, embarrassment, funny moment, idiocy, idiots, jump, knickers, least, malfunction, moment, once, playful, room, t, wardrobe, wardrobe malfunction
Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

0

2 months ago

around, clean, ghost, ghosts, humor, lights, mop, move, stuff
It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

0

2 months ago

attitude, freedom, Friday, fun, humor, relaxation, rules, weekend
My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

0

2 months ago

favorite, humor, music, pirate, pun, song, tiger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

63 shares on Twitch this month:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

74 shares on Threads this month:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

18 shares on Discord this month:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

53 shares on X this month:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

96 shares on Threads this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Live now on Slack:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Live now on Slack:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨