Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.
  • I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.
  • Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.
  • My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.
  • If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.
  • What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?