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Commentary:
"Confucius knew how to make the best out of every situation – even the hangovers! 🍺💀 Just remember, it's all about quality over quantity…unless we're talking about #memories, then bottoms up! 🥂😄"

Confucius, death, die, drink, earlier, experience, humor, life, lot, much, seen, twice, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

0

2 months ago

assumption, compliment, fault, humor, i, meant, misunderstanding, positive, said, sarcasm, stunning
What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

0

2 months ago

childhood, family, having, humor, idea, kids, lot, parenting, possession, surprise, teeth
Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

0

2 months ago

asking, authority, funny moment, helpful, humor, interaction, me, moment, officer, police, police officer, questions, reminder
I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

0

3 months ago

90s, anyone, back, going, humor, invitation, nostalgia, throwback, time, time travel, travel, wants
Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

0

2 months ago

advice, advisor, budgeting, cost, enough, finance, financial, financial advisor, hiring, humor, i, money, paying, personal, personal finance, piece
Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

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2 months ago

anxiety, humor, introvert, people, personality, real, self-awareness, social, social anxiety, tell, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Reddit this month:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

52 shares on X this month:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

I love chatty cats like, yeah, bro, meow meow, you’re so right.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

51 shares on X this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Just landed via Threads:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Just landed via Pinterest:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Making waves on Slack:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Trending via Threads:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Trending via Facebook:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Going viral on Messenger:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years you’re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨