57 funny seen quotes - Wordgag

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

May 19, 2026

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

May 19, 2026

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

May 19, 2026

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Apr 1, 2026

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Apr 1, 2026

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Apr 1, 2026

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Apr 1, 2026

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Apr 1, 2026

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Mar 31, 2026

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Mar 31, 2026

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

Mar 31, 2026

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Mar 31, 2026

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Mar 31, 2026

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Mar 31, 2026

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Mar 31, 2026

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Mar 31, 2026

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Mar 31, 2026

Rest here, weary doom-scroller, you’ve seen enough bullshit for one day.

Mar 31, 2026

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Mar 30, 2026

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Mar 30, 2026

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Mar 30, 2026

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Mar 30, 2026

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Mar 30, 2026

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Mar 29, 2026

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Mar 29, 2026

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Mar 29, 2026

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Mar 29, 2026

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Mar 29, 2026

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Mar 29, 2026

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Mar 27, 2026

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Mar 27, 2026

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Mar 27, 2026

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Mar 26, 2026

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Mar 26, 2026

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Mar 26, 2026

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Mar 26, 2026

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Mar 26, 2026

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Mar 26, 2026

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Mar 26, 2026

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Mar 26, 2026