Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Watch out for those couples who finish each other's sentences, they might just be plotting their next crime spree! Keep your words to yourself and your sentences unfinished!"

communication, couple, dark, dark humor, humor, intimacy, kill, relationship, sentence

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

0

2 months ago

combination, contrast, delicate, emotion, fierce, heart, nature, strength, wildfire, wildflower
That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

0

3 months ago

humor, just, lyric, mispronunciation, moment, music, pronunciation, rapper, rappers, rhyme, word, wordplay
Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

0

2 months ago

acorn, chewing, energy, humor, just, misconception, nature, powerline, show, squirrel, squirrels, thing
Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

0

5 months ago

awful, childbirth, family, family planning, humor, lot, market, parenting, planning, pregnancy, satire, seems, work
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

0

1 month ago

even, humor, i, management, procrastination, superpower, time, time management, wasting, wasting time
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

0

2 months ago

activity, aggression, building, face, fun, fun activity, humor, i, playful, playful aggression, punch, snowman, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

51 shares on YouTube this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

75 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

78 shares on Slack this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

If three ghosts visited me on Christmas, I’d make them play Mario Party with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Going viral on TikTok:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Breaking via WeChat:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Trending via Instagram:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Trending via Reddit:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Childbirth seems like an awful lot of work for an already saturated market.

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨