Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, life sure knows how to take things literally! It's like that one friend who always has to one-up you, even when you're just venting. Lesson learned: be careful what you say to life, it might just see it as a dare!

challenge, day, humor, i, irony, life, question, rhetorical, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

0

2 months ago

accident, clothing, coffee, humor, shirt, spill, violence, white, white shirt
Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

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2 months ago

attraction, awkwardness, challenge, easy, flirt, flirting, humor, person
That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, discomfort, eating, food, food humor, funny moment, humor, interaction, moment, social, social interaction, someone, watching
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, beautiful, creativity, emotion, everyone, feel, humor, joke, pain, poorly, something, transformation, turn, weird
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, i, interruption, marriage, relationship, want, wife
That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

0

2 months ago

addiction, caffeine, coffee, cup, drink, drinking, humor, last, life, morning, morning routine, pot, routine, straight, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Instagram this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

97 shares on Discord this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

25 shares on YouTube this month:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

94 shares on X this month:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Making waves on X:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Spotted on Reddit:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Making waves on YouTube:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Trending via Discord:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Breaking via Slack:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Making waves on YouTube:

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨