Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.
  • Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.
  • My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.
  • Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.
  • I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.
  • I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.