Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Trending via Threads:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Just shared via Slack:

My toxic trait is destroying my room every time I get dressed.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Making waves on X:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

4 months ago

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic battle against the inevitable darkness creeping in early. It's like trying to resist hitting the snooze button on a Monday morning – a challenge that tests our willpower and self-restraint. Let's see who emerges victorious in this epic struggle of seasonal observation!"

activity, challenge, dark, humor, new, rest, time, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Stop worrying about being weird and start being weirder.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

How is it still this week?

Just shared via Pinterest:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Breaking via Slack:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Just shared via X:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Shared recently on TikTok:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Reported on Facebook:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Making waves on Facebook:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

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