Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Dear phone, could you maybe swap out the excessive lighting up for some extra battery life? 🔋⚡️ It's a rough world out there for a phone with commitment issues!"

battery, death, died, frustration, humor, light, low, low battery, me, notifications, phone, technology, tell, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

97 shares on Slack this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

37 shares on X this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Being alive and sentient has been the worst thing to have ever happened to me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Breaking via Reddit:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Going viral on Slack:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Trending via Telegram:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Making waves on YouTube:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Keep the laugh going 😂

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨