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Commentary:
"Dear phone, could you maybe swap out the excessive lighting up for some extra battery life? 🔋⚡️ It's a rough world out there for a phone with commitment issues!"

battery, death, died, frustration, humor, light, low, low battery, me, notifications, phone, technology, tell, times

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

88 shares on Threads this month:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Making waves on Instagram:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Live now on Threads:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Going viral on Facebook:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Seen just now on X:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Keep the laugh going 😂

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

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