Trendy Funny Quotes

  • My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.
  • My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.
  • The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.
  • I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  • Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.
  • Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”