Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Live now on Twitch:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Just landed via Twitch:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Live now on Pinterest:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via Threads:

What happened to the art of just liking one person?

Seen just now on YouTube:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Just landed via Pinterest:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Going viral on Telegram:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
I wish my wallet had baby wallets so I could spoil them rotten! 💸🤰😂

dear, financial, financial humor, humor, money, please, pregnant, wallet, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

0

2 months ago

3, after, afternoon, daylight, forgot, funny observation, i, just, night, November, observation, time, weird
The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

0

5 months ago

ask, energy, feels, gym, me, need, pyramid, scheme
Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

0

2 months ago

actually, feeling, fergalicious, pretty, right, today
AI could never steal company time the way I do.

0

5 months ago

AI, company, company time, humor, i, joke, never, productivity, steal, time, work
Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

0

2 months ago

awkward, cold, comedy, food, going, humor, indulgence, just, let, me, pizza, porn, temptation, tempting, watching
Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

0

2 months ago

back, birth, humor, late, media, procrastination, scroll, social, social media, sorry, time, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Instagram this month:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

71 shares on Messenger this month:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

56 shares on Threads this month:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

Just shared via Instagram:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Just landed via Messenger:

I wonder what John Connor thinks now that everyone is embracing AI.

Just landed via YouTube:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.

Spotted on Discord:

Cataclysmic events, such as your fingers on my skin.

Live now on Discord:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dear wallet, please get pregnant.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨