Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Relationship advice level: Expert! 🧠💔 Next time someone tries to pick a fight with you, just hit 'em with the 'ex' card and make a swift exit. Smooth moves, smooth operator! 😄"

argue, away, ex, humor, just, me, relationship, remind, say, walk

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

0

2 months ago

cold, feel, feelings, feet, heart, humor, should, think, warmth
Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

0

2 months ago

activity, circle, exercise, flipping, gasp, gesture, humor, me, outdoor, outdoor activity, running, sarcasm, track, vultures
Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

0

2 months ago

dating, humor, humor quote, laughter, rejection, reply, romantic, sarcasm, single, someone, still, words
In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

0

1 month ago

20s, adulthood, cat, humor, important, money, much, pet, spend, spending
If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

0

3 weeks ago

day, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, joke, leg, leg day, legs, love, mean, put, shoulders, workout, yes
My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

0

3 months ago

chores, cleaning, cooking, fantasy, having, humor, man, men, once, relationship, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

56 shares on Slack this month:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

64 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Live now on Reddit:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Breaking via X:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Trending via Snapchat:

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

Seen just now on Slack:

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨