Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Relationship advice level: Expert! 🧠💔 Next time someone tries to pick a fight with you, just hit 'em with the 'ex' card and make a swift exit. Smooth moves, smooth operator! 😄"

argue, away, ex, humor, just, me, relationship, remind, say, walk

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35 shares on Twitch this month:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Have your guardian angel call my guardian angel.

Just landed via Messenger:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Trending via WeChat:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Going viral on Discord:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Breaking via Reddit:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

I said “cool tattoo” to be nice not because I wanted to hear the 45 minute origin story.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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