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Updated: May 24, 2026

 

 

 

 

40 Funny ex quotes

Funny ex quotes 😂 are here to remind us that laughter is the best remedy for a heartache 💔! Whether you’re reminiscing about past loves 👀 or just need a giggle, these witty quips lighten the mood and offer a humorous perspective on breakups. Embrace the hilarity of hindsight and get ready to chuckle at the quirks of love lost. Let’s turn those relationship woes into laughs and enjoy the comedic side of moving on! 🌀🌟

Getting to know someone these days is impossible. No one is really single, everyone has something going on, is hung up on their ex or is otherwise damaged in some way.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Posted onMay 21, 2026

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Posted onMar 30, 2026

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Posted onMar 29, 2026

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Posted onMar 29, 2026

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Posted onMar 28, 2026

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Posted onMar 27, 2026

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Posted onMar 27, 2026

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