Commentary:
Sending this text is like mixing both astrology and strategy into a single message—call it "ex-ceptional planning" 🤔🎂💌
40 Funny ex quotes
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're the master of solo adventures! 🕵️♂️📚 #SecretPastLife
My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.
Commentary:
Sounds like your ex had a PhD in emotional GPS! 📉😂
Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.
Commentary:
Deciphering Ozzy is a skill I never knew I’d need for relationships 😂🤘🧩
Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?
Commentary:
Sounds like some men need to uninstall their "ex" from their operating system before downloading a new relationship 😂🤦♂️💔
Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.
Commentary:
Well, it looks like you’re getting free headspace while they're paying rent! 😆🧠💭
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a romantic comedy 🍿😂 Just make sure to add a lot of plot twists and maybe a "lost in translation" moment for good measure! 💌📉
My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”
Commentary:
"Oops, looks like you're trying to connect to a forgotten network! 📵🚫 #NoSignalInThePast"
I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.
Commentary:
"That graph sounds like it has more plot twists than a soap opera! 📉😅 #ExAndWhyMystery"
Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.
Commentary:
"Ah, so that's the secret! Every 'nice pic 💁♂️' comes with a hidden 'thanks, ex!' 📸 #TeamEffort 😆❤️"