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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Have to wear real clothes on Monday. Pray for me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,758

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Just landed via Telegram:

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

Spotted on YouTube:

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Trending via Discord:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Breaking via YouTube:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about growing older and loving coffee more with age.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm just one cup away from becoming a full-time Starbucks retiree! ☕🤣

age, aging, ask, coffee, humor, lifestyle, love, me, older, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

34 shares on Twitch this month:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

49 shares on X this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Making waves on Threads:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Just shared via TikTok:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Making waves on WeChat:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Going viral on Slack:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Life is too short, and death is too long.

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Life is too short, and death is too long.

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨