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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

Spotted on Twitch:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Seen just now on TikTok:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Just landed via Threads:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Breaking via Reddit:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

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Don’t scare me, I fart easily.
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Commentary:
Well, isn't that a gas-tastic quote! 💨😂 I mean, who knew being startled could lead to unexpected sound effects? This person should definitely come with a "Caution: May Fart Easily" warning label! Just imagine the possible chaos in a haunted house or during a surprise party 🎉. Remember folks, always approach with care and avoid any jump scares!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

78 shares on X this month:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

54 shares on Threads this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

24 shares on Slack this month:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake up, the thinking isn’t going to overthink itself.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,472

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Going viral on WeChat:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Making waves on Facebook:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Just landed via Telegram:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Going viral on X:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Seen just now on WeChat:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

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