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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Live now on YouTube:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Just landed via Reddit:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Live now on WeChat:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.
Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.
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Commentary:
Ah, the perfect recipe for turning a personal dilemma into a group project! 🤣🔊 Who needs privacy and personal space when you can turn your struggles into a full-on production for all to enjoy? Just remember, sharing is caring… or something like that! #AwkwardlyPublicStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

779 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,941

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,941

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Trending via Threads:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Live now on Pinterest:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Shared recently on X:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Just shared via X:

I only drink when I people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

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