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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Jan 6, 2026

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Talents: eating!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Going viral on Facebook:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Trending via X:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Live now on Discord:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Going viral on Slack:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

2 months ago

0

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the perfect recipe for turning a personal dilemma into a group project! 🤣🔊 Who needs privacy and personal space when you can turn your struggles into a full-on production for all to enjoy? Just remember, sharing is caring… or something like that! #AwkwardlyPublicStruggles

communication, humor, irony, joke, problem, relatable, sharing, silence, suffer

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, asking, curse, dark, ever, frustration, gone, humor, interruption, light, peeve, pet, pet peeve, sitting
Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

0

2 months ago

activity, away, country, cross, cross country, dating, existed, fun, fun activity, high-speed, high-speed rail, lovers, opportunity, rail, relationships, think, transportation, travel
Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

0

4 months ago

childhood, enough, family, humor, kid, kids, old, parent, parenting, problem, relationship
I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

0

2 months ago

actually, attitude, balance, entitlement, even, going, humor, i, irony, little, thankfulness, today, too, ungratefulness, yesterday
I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

0

2 months ago

aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things
“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

0

2 months ago

conversation, cost, date, expense, expensive, free, humor, still, tomorrow

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Having a job ruined my life.

70 shares on X this month:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

22 shares on Discord this month:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

235 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,504

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,504

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Just shared via Messenger:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Going viral on X:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Spotted on WeChat:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Breaking via Threads:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Spreading quickly via X:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

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