Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's aiming for the 'chili' score on Sundays! 🏈🌶️ Bet that game day snack will come back around to haunt you later! 💨🚽 #SuperBowelShowdown"

activity, chili, digestion, eat, food, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, Sunday, superbowl

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

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2 months ago

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test
I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

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1 month ago

apple, apples, berry, humor, i, imagination, imagine, just, second, size, wish
Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

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1 month ago

aspiration, bad, career, dreams, following, humor, i, job, job market, market, unemployment
Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

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3 months ago

analogy, balloon, communication, finds, hope, hoping, humor, internet, media, message, person, right, social, social media, Twitter
Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

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2 months ago

breaking, breaking news, check, confidence, humor, interesting, less, news, perspective, reality, reality check, self-perception, think
The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

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1 month ago

devil, give, humor, i, irony, loneliness, love, me, never, reach, reciprocation, relationship, sarcasm, sure

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

22 shares on X this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I got a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you think I’m pretty.” Sometimes I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

Making waves on Instagram:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Going viral on Instagram:

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

All pants are tear away pants if you’re strong enough.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Going bananas on TikTok:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨