Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Breaking via X:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Breaking via Pinterest:

Ugh, but profoundly.

Trending via WeChat:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Making waves on YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Love is patient, but a free bar test our patience faster than a wedding toast 🥂😅 #PrioritiesShiftWhenDrinksAreInvolved"

bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

buying, commercial, commercials, humor, i, me, scare, something, terrified, tired, toothpaste, trying, want, wrong
Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

0

6 months ago

adulting, health, humor, life, mental, mental health, mystery, self-care, session, therapy, time
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

0

2 months ago

amazing, blessing, family, humor, irony, kid, kids, learn, music, parent, parents, talent, trumpet
“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

0

2 months ago

check, confidence, humor, i, life, mirror, myself, self-quote, sunglasses, thug, thug life, whisper
Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

0

2 months ago

90, accordion, awareness, humor, instrument, musical, musical instrument, realize, sentence, study, surprise, wordplay
Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

0

2 months ago

alone, beer, drinking, humor, posture, relaxation, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Just shared via Slack:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Freshly posted on Threads:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Shared recently on WeChat:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Broadcasted on X:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Just landed via WeChat:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Making waves on Twitch:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Just shared via Telegram:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨