Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
  • Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.
  • I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.
  • Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”
  • My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.
  • 50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.