51 funny line quotes - Wordgag

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Apr 1, 2026

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Apr 1, 2026

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Apr 1, 2026

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Apr 1, 2026

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Mar 31, 2026

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Mar 31, 2026

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Mar 30, 2026

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Mar 30, 2026

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Mar 29, 2026

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

Mar 29, 2026

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Mar 29, 2026

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

Mar 29, 2026

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Mar 29, 2026

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

Mar 28, 2026

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Mar 28, 2026

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Mar 28, 2026

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Mar 28, 2026

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Mar 28, 2026

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Mar 28, 2026

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Mar 27, 2026

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Mar 27, 2026

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Mar 27, 2026

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Mar 27, 2026

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Mar 26, 2026

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Mar 26, 2026

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Mar 26, 2026

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Mar 26, 2026

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Mar 26, 2026

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Mar 26, 2026

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Mar 26, 2026

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Mar 26, 2026

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Mar 26, 2026

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Mar 25, 2026

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Mar 25, 2026

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Mar 25, 2026

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Mar 24, 2026

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Mar 24, 2026

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Mar 23, 2026

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

Mar 23, 2026

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Mar 23, 2026