Commentary:
Time's got a PhD in healing but skips sunscreen class 🤔😂☀️
51 Funny line quotes
I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?
Commentary:
Awooga! Guess my inner cartoon character couldn't handle the wardrobe malfunction! 😂🚨
Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time to trade left swipes for hot dogs and baseball strikes! 🍺🌭⚾️
All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.
Commentary:
Sounds like my life is just an improv show! 🎭🤔😅
Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.
Commentary:
If humor is your exhale, you might just be my favorite secondhand smoke 😂🚬❤️
I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.
Commentary:
It’s like a TED Talk, but with more awkward medical details! 🤦♂️🎤💊
Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.
Commentary:
Lettuce be real, this is a "toasty" compliment! 🍔❤️
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”
Commentary:
Trying to flirt your way out of eternal damnation: Noted. 😈😂
No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.
Commentary:
Sounds like the worst country line-up! 🌾🕺 #CountingMyBlessings
Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.
Commentary:
Struggling between meme gold and tech support nightmares, all before my first cup of coffee! 🤔💻☕