Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

295 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,564

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,564

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Live now on Facebook:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Spotted on YouTube:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Just landed via X:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Making waves on YouTube:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Spotted on Messenger:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When that "I’m sorry" hits harder than your toughest pose 😂💔 #GangsterLife ✌️

apology, attitude, gangster, humor, interaction, say, saying, saying sorry, social, social interaction, sorry, toughness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, exhaustion, humor, late, nap, sleep, take, timing, too, worst
Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

2 months ago

baby, gifts, humor, irony, men, newborn, presents, three, Three Wise Men, wise, worst
Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

2 months ago

communication, gender, humor, i, just, meeting, office, professionalism, question, questions, something, understand, understanding, woman, women, workplace
If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

3 months ago

day, eat, fish, fishing, give, hell, house, humor, independence, man, relationship, Saturday, teach, weekend, yourself
Long story short, I survived.

1 week ago

humor, i, joke, resilience, short, short story, story, survival
Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

2 months ago

72h, always, belief, believe, bus, care, deodorant, fragrance, humor, manufacturers, me, next, people, personal, personal care, satire, sit, stop, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

41 shares on Twitch this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I overthink, therefore I am.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Trending via Discord:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Before you beef with me, just know I’m deeply malicious to my core once upset.

Just shared via Reddit:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Long story short, I survived.

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨