Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The year flies by when you’re scrolling.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

Breaking via Reddit:

The one thing I think most parents need to realize is, there’s absolutely no secrets that your child doesn’t share about you in the classroom.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Just landed via Discord:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Trending via Threads:

I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

2 days ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about confusion and humor, featuring witty words asking for nonsensical directions.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Lost on my way to logic, ended up here instead! 🤪🧭✨

direct, direction, excuse, excuse me, funny request, humor, me, nonsense, request

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87 shares on Pinterest this month:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

16 shares on Messenger this month:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

94 shares on Discord this month:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

77 shares on Discord this month:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to social media. A person who does not understand humor will contact you shortly.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Wait. We’re now turning plants into burgers? Haven’t cows been doing that like, forever.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Shared recently on Discord:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Making waves on Reddit:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Babe, you’re not acting according to my delusions right now.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Making waves on Discord:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Keep the laugh going 😂

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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