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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Handing the bus driver a $50 bill and telling him “Just drive”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,686

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Shared recently on Threads:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Breaking via X:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Spotted on Reddit:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Trending via Snapchat:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Breaking via Discord:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Spotted on WeChat:

Age ceases to be just a number everytime the airline announces seating queue priority.

First World War. Kind of nervous.

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First World War. Kind of nervous.
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Commentary:
I hope they had a solid WiFi signal in the trenches to Google "how to win a war" 📡🔍💣

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Threads this month:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

80 shares on Discord this month:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

100 shares on Discord this month:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

28 shares on X this month:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are very good at being women lately.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,277

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Imagine thinking you have all the answers.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Just landed via YouTube:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Just landed via TikTok:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Live now on YouTube:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Trending via Slack:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Going viral on YouTube:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

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