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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has downloaded:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized theyโ€™d stolen my entire social strategy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmmโ€ฆ should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

A Southerner dies every time you people type โ€œyaโ€™llโ€ instead of โ€œyโ€™all,โ€ btw.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WeChat:

Itโ€™s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Trending via Messenger:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you canโ€™t even name one of their songs.

Just landed via Instagram:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Reported on Pinterest:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, yโ€™all.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Seen just now on Slack:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Trending via Discord:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.
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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a 'killer' sense of humor ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’จ Just remember, a true friend will never let you suffer alone in the gas-filled trenches! #FartingForAFriend"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ป has shared:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Spotted on Instagram:

If she says โ€œitโ€™s fine,โ€ youโ€™re probably in trouble.

Just shared via Telegram:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Going viral on Instagram:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Going viral on Slack:

A late person is never happier than when the person theyโ€™re meeting is later than them.

Trending via Reddit:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasnโ€™t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Making waves on Threads:

Why do they have to make things childproof when Iโ€™m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Trending via Slack:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Just landed via Reddit:

Idiocracy wasnโ€™t supposed to be a documentary.

Going viral on Slack:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

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