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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has copied:

How dare my boss set up a meeting for the time I sneak off early?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Texting random numbers β€œIt’s done.”

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡© has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡― has shared:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has copied:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has shared:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

850 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,012

Funny Quotes Topics

13,947

Funny Quotes Images

11,012

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via X:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Spotted on Telegram:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Spotted on TikTok:

Plants are like β€œI’ll have a light lunch.”

Trending via Facebook:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Making waves on Reddit:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Broadcasted on X:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Trending via Facebook:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Shared recently on Threads:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Going viral on Telegram:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.
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Commentary:
"Looks like someone is ready to groove to a different kind of playlist this year! πŸŽΆπŸ”ž Who needs music when you have spicy content to track? πŸŒΆοΈπŸ‘€ #PornhubWrapped #2021Mood"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ“ˆ

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Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

850 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,012

Funny Quotes Topics

13,947

Funny Quotes Images

11,012

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has shared:

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has downloaded:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Twitch:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Just shared via Messenger:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Reported on X:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Just landed via Telegram:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Going viral on WeChat:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question β€˜how much could juice cost?’

Spotted on Threads:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Just shared via Messenger:

If your wife uses β€œI” it means she will be doing something. β€œWe” means you will be.

Seen just now on Discord:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

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