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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1134 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,296

Funny Quotes Topics

14,207

Funny Quotes Images

11,296

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Making waves on Pinterest:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Trending via Instagram:

Forget pheromones, barbecue smells are always attractive.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going viral on X:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Live now on WeChat:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Shared recently on WeChat:

I enjoy driving because it combines my desire to sit with my talent for being angry.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1134 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,296

Funny Quotes Topics

14,207

Funny Quotes Images

11,296

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Spotted on Twitch:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Trending via Slack:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Making waves on Reddit:

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Just landed via Twitch:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Going viral on Discord:

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Making waves on Facebook:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

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