When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text. Posted on4 days ago
I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely. Posted on4 days ago
They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind. Posted on4 days ago
Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget. Posted on4 days ago
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Posted on4 days ago
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Posted on5 days ago
I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense. Posted on5 days ago
If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape. Posted on5 days ago
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. Posted on5 days ago5 days ago
When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips! Posted on5 days ago
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them. Posted on5 days ago
Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life. Posted on5 days ago
Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day. Posted on5 days ago5 days ago
I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.” Posted on5 days ago
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Posted on5 days ago
“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up. Posted on5 days ago5 days ago