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New funny quotes: 56 this month

15,809 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Mar 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

212 Funny body quotes

Funny body quotes highlight the quirks, surprises, and hilarious realities of living in a human suit! 😄💪 Whether it’s mysterious aches, loud stomach growls in quiet rooms, or your body deciding to nap at the worst times, these quotes remind us that our bodies might not be perfect — but they sure are entertaining. Get ready to laugh from head to toe! 😂🦵🧠

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Posted onJan 30, 2026

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

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