Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Live now on Instagram:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

Trending via Threads:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Just landed via X:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

Going viral on WeChat:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Can’t promise I’ll return with a bookshelf, but guaranteed meatball mission success! 🛒🥢🤣

anyone, food, going, humor, IKEA, meatball, needs, shopping, Swedish, Swedish meatball, trip

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

2 months ago

boyfriend, buffalo, Buffalo sauce, cat, encourage, funny moment, humor, i, just, licking, moment, pet, pet humor, sauce, things, try
So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

2 months ago

cleaning, free, freedom, humor, irony, love, never, people, pet, robot, Roomba, say, technology
My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

6 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing
God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

2 months ago

divine, enough, God, humor, joke, religion, sarcasm, smiting
It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

2 months ago

alone, bed, bedtime, crumb, crumbs, humor, joke, loneliness, sleeping, sleeping alone, snack
At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

69 shares on Messenger this month:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

95 shares on X this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

25 is the new 0 years old.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Going bananas on Twitch:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I look at the world, I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Just landed via Discord:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Just shared via X:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Just landed via Threads:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Shared recently on Threads:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨