44 funny trip quotes - Wordgag

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

May 21, 2026

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

May 21, 2026

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

May 21, 2026

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

May 21, 2026

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

May 21, 2026

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

May 21, 2026

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

May 20, 2026

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

May 20, 2026

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

May 20, 2026

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

May 20, 2026

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

May 20, 2026

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

May 19, 2026

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

May 19, 2026

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

May 19, 2026

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

May 6, 2026

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Apr 1, 2026

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Apr 1, 2026

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Mar 31, 2026

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Mar 31, 2026

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Mar 31, 2026

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Mar 31, 2026

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Mar 30, 2026

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Mar 30, 2026

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Mar 30, 2026

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Mar 30, 2026

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Mar 29, 2026

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Mar 29, 2026

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Mar 28, 2026

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Mar 28, 2026

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Mar 28, 2026

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Mar 26, 2026

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Mar 26, 2026

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Mar 26, 2026

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Mar 26, 2026

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Mar 26, 2026

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Mar 25, 2026

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Mar 25, 2026

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Mar 25, 2026