Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Breaking via Reddit:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Just landed via WeChat:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Making waves on Messenger:

What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.

Making waves on Instagram:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

Going viral on YouTube:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Trending via TikTok:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's clapping career just took a nosedive! 👏✈️😱 #ClapFail"

applaud, before, boo, crash, guy, humor, irony, pilot, plane, reaction, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

0

2 months ago

addiction, drink, event, gathering, humor, i, intervention, me, place, reasons, self-awareness, social, social event
Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

0

2 months ago

3d, 3D printer, creativity, humor, making, printer, return, technology
Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

0

6 months ago

corral, everywhere, fly, food, food place, fruit, fruit fly, funny observation, golden, Golden Corral, humor, insect, observation, place, supermarket, why
Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

0

2 months ago

activity, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, day, day off, fun, fun activity, humor, party, relaxation, Thanksgiving, theory
When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

0

2 months ago

cray-cray, exaggeration, expression, humor, me, people, reaction, slang, vom-vom
People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

0

2 months ago

around, bathroom, design, frosted, frosted glass, glass, glass house, home, home design, house, humor, live, people, privacy, should, toilet, transparency

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

48 shares on X this month:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

67 shares on X this month:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

Making waves on Threads:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Shared recently on Threads:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Trending via Twitch:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Spotted on YouTube:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨