Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Heelys don't have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Commentary:
“Who needs brakes when your swag is on autopilot mode? 😎🚫⛔️ Ride on, fearless Heelys enthusiast, ride on! 🛹 #Swagalicious”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

    Commentary:
    “All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so when you accidentally hit someone’s ride in the parking lot, you can just blame it on high-fives gone wrong! 🚗🙌😜”

  • You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

    Commentary:
    Looks like someone’s on a diet – they’re probably yogurt-ing their way to a healthier lifestyle! 🥄💪 Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, trying to scrape out every last bit of that creamy goodness. It’s like a yogurt treasure hunt! 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, you’re one step closer to your summer bod with every swipe of that spoon! 💃🍦

  • You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic tale of transitioning from party animal to clean freak! 🎶🧹 Looks like it’s bye-bye hangovers, hello sparkling countertops! Who knew adulthood could be this rhythmic? 💃🕺 #CleaningJam #AdultingWin

  • We should thank heaven for nipples. Without them boobs would be pointless.

    Commentary:
    “Let’s give a round of applause to the unsung heroes, nipples! 🙌 Without them, breasts would just be circles…talk about a ‘nipple-ation’ of purpose! 😂”

  • Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

    Commentary:
    🚀🐒🐎 “Forget red carpets, let’s give those astronauts a wild welcome with chimpanzees on horses! Talk about a stellar touchdown!” 🌠🤣 #OutOfThisWorldWelcome

  • Not going is the new leaving early.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the art of ghosting social events without actually ghosting… Not going is the new leaving early 🕒👻. Why make a grand exit when you can simply make a stealthy non-entrance? 🚪🏃‍♂️ #MasterOfAvoidance”