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Commentary:
"Looks like they found a new favorite flavor of the month! 🕵️‍♂️🔄 Next time, remember to stand out like a unicorn in a field of horses! 🦄🔍"

calling, different, found, guy, humor, party, relationship, search, search party

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

0

2 months ago

end, fundraising, humor, hunger, jar, media, satire, social, social media, swear, swear jar, Twitter, world, world hunger
“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

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2 months ago

buddy, confidence, even, got, humor, i, irony, milk, sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-esteem
You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

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2 months ago

40, adulthood, age, change, clean, cleaning, drunk, house, humor, know, life, life change, music, nostalgia, over, over 40, used
Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

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2 months ago

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Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

0

2 months ago

advice, before, clean, cleanliness, humor, media, need, personal, personal space, room, selfie, social, social media, space, take
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

0

2 months ago

annoy, commitment, humor, life, love, marriage, person, relationship, special, special person

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

43 shares on Discord this month:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

The older I get, the more I love my morning coffee and no one speaking to me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Spotted on Threads:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Just shared via Messenger:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Going viral on WeChat:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Going viral on WeChat:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Spotted on TikTok:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Live now on Telegram:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨