Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Just landed via Discord:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Going bananas on Twitch:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Just landed via Reddit:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Avocado is just green butter.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Every squad has that person who has to go home early.

Just landed via Instagram:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Spotted on Threads:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about home comfort and trust in the bathroom humorously highlighting bathroom familiarity.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Home is where you trust the toilet seat… and hope the floor isn't too cold in the middle of the night 😅🚽 #TheStruggleIsReal"

comfort, home, humor, seat, toilet, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

89 shares on X this month:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

57 shares on Messenger this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The problem with salad is, it’s salad.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Just landed via X:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Freshly posted on X:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Trending via Slack:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Spotted on Threads:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

They should invent a person for me and me only.

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

They should invent a person for me and me only.

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨