Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Maybe hitting the snooze button is just practice for hitting the obstacles in life. You're not just snoozing, you're training for the future! How's that for a wake-up call?"

future, humor, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, readines, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

2 months ago

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand
Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

2 months ago

aging, eyesight, failing, humor, mirror, nature, older, past, self-image, shock, stress, walk
It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

2 months ago

humor, hurricane, i, irony, language, letter, middle, pretty, wit, wordplay
I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

2 months ago

always, around, bathrobe, day, fence, going, home, humor, i, neighbors, privacy, privacy fence, start, strategy, walking, wanted, yard
There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, bar, disgusting, humor, interaction, over, pervert, pornography, shoulder, situation, social, social interaction, watching
Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

4 months ago

cardio, carrying, communication, conversation, exercise, fitness, humor

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

25 shares on YouTube this month:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

93 shares on X this month:

Nobody calls you old more than people 2 years younger than you.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Just landed via Reddit:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Trending via WeChat:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Just shared via TikTok:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Going viral on Twitch:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Just shared via YouTube:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

Carrying a conversation counts as cardio.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨