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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. I can feed you misinformation too and I’m also beautiful and funny sometimes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Breaking via Messenger:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Shared recently on YouTube:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Going viral on Reddit:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Just landed via Discord:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

How do I un-know people?

Witty text pondering how to forget people, with a humorous, playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, have you tried repeatedly hitting the 'CTRL+Z' keys in real life? 🤔 Or maybe you can try the ancient art of selective amnesia – works like a charm! 🧠💫 Just remember to forget to remember! 😉"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

85 shares on Instagram this month:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Might mess around and reply “history will absolve me” to all work emails.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

22 shares on X this month:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

This is my emotional support online shopping cart.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Live now on Facebook:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Just landed via Facebook:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m going to hell in every religion.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Going viral on Threads:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

Spreading quickly via X:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Spotted on Telegram:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Making waves on Twitch:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

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