Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.
  • Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.
  • Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.
  • I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.
  • Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.
  • I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.