Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Commentary:
“Me to alien: Don’t worry, blending in is an art form I have *almost* perfected! 👽🕵️‍♂️ #MasterOfDisguise”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

    Commentary:
    “Maybe the phone needs to attend some emotional intelligence classes to understand the difference! 🤔📱 #SmartButClueless”

  • People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

    Commentary:
    “Watching people bounce around all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning like they just popped out of a Teletubby episode 🌞🤪 Let’s face it, not all of us are cut out for that level of morning cheerfulness. Some of us need a little more coffee and a lot more snooze button before we’re ready to tackle the day 😴☕️ Just call us the Not-So-Bright-Eyed and Definitely Not-Bushy-T

  • Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

    Commentary:
    “Therapist: ‘How do you feel about monopolizing the session?’ Me: ‘Guilty, but also oddly accomplished. 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️’ Remember, it’s called ‘therapy,’ not ‘them-apy’ for a reason! 😆 #SelfCenteredAndProud”

  • Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

    Commentary:
    Looks like those sneaky lamps are just trying to outsmart us with their age-old genie charade! 🧞‍♂️ Watch out for those wily lamps, they’re always up to something mischievous! 🔮✨

  • If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

    Commentary:
    🔑 “If you ever find yourself locked out of your house, don’t panic! Just strike up a friendly conversation with your stubborn lock. Remember, communication is key in all relationships – even with inanimate objects!” 😉 Unlock your way back in with some smooth talk!

  • I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a gentle dive when you can make a splashy entrance like a boss? 💦😎 Watch out for flying conclusions, coming in hot! 🔥 #CannonballMaster”