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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Have you ever accidentally opened your front-facing camera, and it ruined your day a little?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,374

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Going bananas on X:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Spotted on Instagram:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Breaking via Threads:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Spotted on WeChat:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Freshly posted on X:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Going viral on TikTok:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like you've reached the 'CTRL + Z' moment in life! 🔄 Don't worry, just hit the 'Refresh' button and start a new game on 'Life 2.0'. 🎮 Remember, it's never too late for a new beginning, just make sure to read the 'Terms & Conditions' this time! 😉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

87 shares on Slack this month:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

43 shares on Threads this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope my email finds you enraged.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

How many of you also constantly take screenshots of something and then never look at them again?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Seen just now on X:

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Just landed via YouTube:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Trending via Reddit:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Seen just now on Slack:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

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