I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Commentary:
“Ah, the age-old strategy of seeking out a ‘bathroom buddy’ for moral support in the midst of bodily functions. 🚽 Because after all, it’s always nice to have a companion in the most intimate of moments! 🚽😄”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

    Commentary:
    “🍝🏃‍♀️ Sounds like a recipe for success! Who knew carbs could be so motivating? Maybe I should wear a shirt that says “Eat Chocolate, Run Faster” 😂🍫 Keep your pasta close and your fitness goals closer!”

  • My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

    Commentary:
    Looks like your relationship with the demon just got spiritually complicated! 😈💔 Time to swipe right on a new possession, perhaps? Who knows, maybe your exorcist will be ghosting demons left and right! 👻 #DemonDatingDrama

  • My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the bed had a case of Monday blues! 😂🛏️ It’s important to give it some TLC too! Hope it feels better soon! 🤞☕ #BedRestIsRequired

  • I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

    Commentary:
    “Oops, looks like debt collectors will have to hunt down my past selves! 🕵️‍♂️💸 Time travel might be the only solution here! ⏳🚀 Oh well, new year, new debts to ignore! 😆💼 #OutOfSightOutOfMind”

  • When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the good ol’ ‘speak to the manager’ move, starting them young, I see! 😄👶 Next thing you know, they’ll be demanding a refund for nap time interruptions! #ToddlerTantrums”

  • They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

    Commentary:
    “Maybe they could call it the ‘OMG Lane’ – for those who can’t resist the urge to LMAO while driving! 📱🚗😂”