Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

There’s something about Dracula I just don’t trust.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Going viral on Slack:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Live now on YouTube:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Making waves on Telegram:

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

Trending via Facebook:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

1 month ago

Humorous text about a dad's love being everyone's favorite joke, playful and heartwarming.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like dad's got those dad jokes down pat! 🤣 But hey, at least it's a wholesome punchline! 🤷‍♂️ #DadJokesForDays

asked, dad, equality, family, favorite, favorite joke, humor, i, joke, love, parenting, pick, sister

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Edging my house plants by putting them next to the window when it rains.

93 shares on X this month:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

16 shares on Discord this month:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

85 shares on Slack this month:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

61 shares on X this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Going viral on Messenger:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Spotted on TikTok:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Spreading quickly via X:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Live now on Discord:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Live now on WeChat:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Going viral on YouTube:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Keep the laugh going 😂

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨