Commentary:
Toddlers: the ultimate truth-tellers who think 6 a.m. is the perfect time for a dance party! 💃🕺🥱
79 Funny asked quotes
My kids asked me what games I used to play on my iPad as a kid. I told them I used to speak into a fan to sound like a robot.
Commentary:
I used to win every game of "blow-the-fan-away" with my expert robot voice skills! 🤖🌀😂
Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.
Commentary:
When your boss has a memory lapse and temporarily enters the alternate universe where you live in the office 😂🤔📅
My mom recently asked me how to take a screenshot. At first, I laughed, but then I remembered she taught me how to tie my shoes.
Commentary:
Guess I owe her a "Tech for Tying" class 😂👟📱
I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time to pull out the old "house chores for board game cash" strategy! 🧹💰😂
I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”
Commentary:
"Botox: when you're not competing with time, just the other Botox club members! 😆💉👵✨"
Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.
Commentary:
Keeping the five-star fun on the down low, one "meh" at a time. 🥴🌟📉🍻
My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.
Commentary:
Foxes need coffee too! ☕🦊 Sounds like someone just got outfoxed by their own joke! 😂📞
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to change my name to "Whole Oat Soy Almond Coconut Non-Dairy" 👩🌾🥛😂
I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.
Commentary:
Hope you’re ready for that swingin’ lifestyle! Just remember, it's all about keeping your balance! 😜😂🎢