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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Trending via TikTok:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Shared recently on Telegram:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Going viral on Threads:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Shared recently on Slack:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Playful text about celebrating early mornings with applause for waking up early.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Setting your alarm to applause for waking up at 7am is a brilliant idea – after all, it's basically a standing ovation for adulting before most people even hit snooze for the first time!"

, , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need to consult the woods about this.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Blink if you want me!

19 shares on Messenger this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

28 shares on X this month:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d post more pics, but I don’t want y’all falling in love all at once.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to know what someone is really like? Play Monopoly with them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,520

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Going viral on Telegram:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“I’m a very sleepy person, just at all the wrong times.”

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