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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I regret to inform you that we must all once again figure out what to make for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Jan 12, 2026

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Trending via TikTok:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Going bananas on Threads:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Going viral on Facebook:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Trending via Reddit:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Just shared via YouTube:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

2 months ago

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of sharing our embarrassing tales from the pre-social media era! 🚲😅 Who needs instant updates when you have timeless stories of bike crashes and knee injuries to share decades later? 🕰️🤕 #ThrowbackThursday #VintageMishaps"

1989, bike, bike crash, crash, injury, knee, knee injury, media, nostalgia, social, social media, storytelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

2 months ago

casual, comfort, comfortable, cozy, downtime, feet, foot, foot up, highlight, leisure, me, me time, putting, relaxation, self-care, slipping, something, time, weekend
We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

2 months ago

advertising, commercials, creativity, fix, going, help, humor, media, need, should
Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

2 months ago

activity, creativity, example, fantasy, fun, fun activity, game, games, great, house, job, let, Sims, simulation, The Sims, try, video, video game
The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

4 months ago

being, dating, life, love, love life, mind, minds, modern, modern love, most, relationship, romance, romantic, romantic mind, situationship, time
Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

2 months ago

comfort, having, humor, loneliness, realization, realize, room, sing, singing, sleep, someone
Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

2 months ago

door, housefly, humor, i, joke, leaving, low, open, pest, running, thanks

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

64 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

71 shares on Twitch this month:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Breaking via TikTok:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Breaking via Facebook:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Spotted on Reddit:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Trending via Threads:

SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Just landed via WeChat:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Going bananas on Telegram:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

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