Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Trending via Slack:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Breaking via X:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Trending via WeChat:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Trending via Slack:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

0
I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the joys of sharing our embarrassing tales from the pre-social media era! 🚲😅 Who needs instant updates when you have timeless stories of bike crashes and knee injuries to share decades later? 🕰️🤕 #ThrowbackThursday #VintageMishaps"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

58 shares on Discord this month:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,657

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Live now on Reddit:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Just shared via Messenger:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Spotted on Instagram:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Trending via Snapchat:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but my wife just described the dinner I made as “interesting.”

Live now on TikTok:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

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