Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Breaking via Discord:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Seen just now on Discord:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Just shared via X:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

0
I dare you to try and be more single than me.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Challenge accepted! I am so single, my plants ask me for dating advice 🪴😂 #AllTheSingleLadies 💁‍♀️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Threads this month:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

56 shares on Threads this month:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If my house is clean, just know I yelled at everyone for two hours first.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bilingual means stuttering in both languages.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Just landed via Telegram:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Spotted on Facebook:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Just shared via YouTube:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via Telegram:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

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