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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Trending via YouTube:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Making waves on X:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Live now on X:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Breaking via Instagram:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Challenge accepted! I am so single, my plants ask me for dating advice 🪴😂 #AllTheSingleLadies 💁‍♀️"

challenge, dare, dating, fun, humor, i, independence, me, relationship, single

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

0

2 months ago

crazy, mindset, person, perspective, think, thinking, understand, understanding
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

0

5 months ago

1, am, blackout, blackout curtain, confusion, curtain, curtains, dangerous, daytime, here, humor, indoor, night, outside, sleep, time
My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade
Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

0

2 months ago

advice, asking, custom, humor, professionalism, raise, remember, sober, workplace
One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

0

2 months ago

day, even, humor, internet, internet slang, last, last time, nostalgia, realization, realize, said, slang, time, w00t
How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

0

2 months ago

back, burn, calory, exercise, hear, humor, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

26 shares on Slack this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

20 shares on X this month:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My robot vacuum and I are cut from the same cloth. When we see a line of dirt on the kitchen floor, we just spin around and go the other way.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Going viral on Slack:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Going viral on Instagram:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Just landed via Messenger:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Going viral on Instagram:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Just landed via Telegram:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

My life coach traded me.

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨