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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s. You used to be a lot taller.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

23 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Making waves on Telegram:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Trending via LinkedIn:

These aliens are taking forever.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Just shared via YouTube:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

6 months ago

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

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Commentary:
🤣 "I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do. Ah, the classic approach of 'button-mashing optimism' – Maybe one day we'll uncover the mystery behind those magical buttons! 🔮💡"

C, calculator, CE, clear, confusion, humor, i, math, mistakes, technology, times

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

23 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Reported on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Just shared via YouTube:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Shared recently on X:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Spotted on YouTube:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Making waves on Reddit:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Going viral on Telegram:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Just landed via Snapchat:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

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