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Commentary:
Oh, fangs for sharing your biting opinion! 🧛🏻‍♂️ Looks like you're not a fanpire of vampires… they can be quite draining, can't they? 💉🦇 But hey, at least they always leave their mark! 😆 #VampirePuns

comedy, favorite, humor, i, joke, me, suck, vampire, wit

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Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

1 month ago

bag, cheese, comfort, comfort food, eat, eating, food, humor, indulgence, just, need, shredded, shredded cheese, snack, sometimes, straight
Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

1 month ago

binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching
Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

1 month ago

chaos, children, dish, dish towel, expectations, hanging, hell, household, humor, neatness, oh, parenting, towel
I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

1 month ago

breaks, burglars, door, front, front door, humor, i, keep, me, night, safety, sleep, valuables, wake
It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

1 month ago

awkward, awkward moment, baby, care, embarrassing, embarrassment, face, humor, moment, reaction, silly, silly face
Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

1 month ago

2030, age, age difference, appearance, difference, feel, feeling, humor, just, millennials, old

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Twitch:

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Going bananas on Telegram:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Live now on Reddit:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Making waves on Messenger:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Shared recently on Discord:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Just shared via Telegram:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

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I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

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I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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